Times of Uncertainty

Honestly, I didn’t know it mattered that much. I probably should have realized with all the little things that led up to it. But you know what they say about shoulds.

It started on my drive to work. Actually, it started before that, during the week. I was supposed to teach a Reiki Certification Class, but only one person had signed up. I was going to cancel it, but the woman who had registered was so disappointed that she convinced me to teach anyway. 

On the night before the class, I received a call from another woman who expressed her interest in joining the class. Without hesitation, I agreed and made the decision to prepare additional materials in anticipation of her participation. The next morning, as I was getting dressed and preparing myself for the class, I received yet another call from someone else. Despite the unexpected interruption, I couldn’t help but feel grateful that I had summoned up the energy to teach and was genuinely excited to have a class that day.

Back to the part where I was driving to work… I noticed a car right in front of me as I got off the expressway. It took off extremely fast for a Saturday morning. Catching up at the light, I noticed it was a Tesla.  (This was several years ago, and there weren’t that many Tesla cars on the road yet.) I caught up with it again at the next light, and it took off quite fast.  Confirming to myself, yep, it’s a Tesla!  I turned left at the light as the Tesla sped straight forward.

Coming up the hill, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a car speeding up at me. The next thing I knew, I was hit sideways, t-boned, they called it.

Near-Death-Like Experience

Was it the slow motion? Was it seeing everything around me? Was it seeing myself checking on the other driver, yet never really getting out of the car, that should have made me realize?

I knew I hadn’t died, but I had been able to view my soul for a moment, long enough to leave my body and come back in and receive a message..  a big message… a message that said … You still have significant work to do for humanity and to quit playing small. 

I was sitting in my car, still trying to figure out what had happened—was it my fault, the other driver’s fault, was I okay, was the car going to explode, the airbags had gone off, and why was my seatbelt still on, I should be okay, I hadn’t died —when my phone rang, bringing me back to the present moment.

Another student was calling. She had not registered for the Reiki Class but was waiting at the studio. Coming back into my body, I talked to her like nothing was happening. I took her information and said I should be there soon and to tell the others I had been hit by a car, but I was okay and right around the corner.

I did make it to teach about 30 minutes later with a police escort. My car had to be towed, so they gave me a ride with all my materials and a vase of roses in my hand.  My class was great. I was teaching from what felt like a high state of energy.. soul purpose kind of thing. 

After the class, I went to get my car. I was surprised at how much damage had occurred. I should have realized how bad it was. Luckily, no one was hurt. I still say the Reiki energy guided me, and my Angels protected me.

However, the near-death-like experience created more havoc on my consciousness than I could have imagined. Right after that big message, the world shut down. The pandemic hit, and I could not get my work out to people. I wasn’t used to working online but was trying hard to adapt like everyone else.  People were canceling or just not showing up. I thought it was me. I was taking it personally. 

Fear came in. Fear of everything. What had happened?  How was I going to work? The fear was crippling me. I was sinking into a low-grade depression, yet trying to cover it up like the rest of the world. It started to affect me significantly, not realizing my Spirit was shutting down.

My Soul Felt Abandoned

It took me four years to realize what had happened. I had never heard of near-death-like experiences.  I didn’t know my Soul had reached so far up into another reality. For as high as I went, I also went low, deep into despair.  With the world shut down, I didn’t know that my Soul felt abandoned from its purpose. The expansion was so quick the drop was even faster.

I was lost and searching. I called in new teachers. I traveled to Costa Rica to work with Shamans in ceremonies, drinking plant medicines, just trying to understand. It wasn’t until I found a teacher who helped me learn how to come back into my body and embody all the emotions I was going through that it all started to make sense. She helped me call all the parts back to me to put myself back together with my Soul’s purpose. I was able to reclaim the work of my Soul.

Today, I can say how grateful I am for this experience, for this opening up of my consciousness, for finding answers, working with teachers, trusting my gifts, and healing myself back to wholeness. Throughout it all, I keep hearing the words of the teacher who guided me through it all: Love you, Terri, keep loving you; stay in your body, the rest will work itself out.

Strange and unsettling as it was, I am grateful for this car wreck.  My journey of self-discovery has made me stronger and more confident in the unique abilities that have unfolded since that impactful moment. Consciousness transcends the physical confines of the brain and resides within our soul, not the body, accompanying us across lifetimes and guiding us to remember our true selves.

As for the shoulds, I have learned that the concept of “shoulds” is laden with judgment and shame, hindering the freedom of our soul’s growth. The notion of a singular correct or preferred way of doing things is often limiting and rigid. Instead, embracing an open-minded and flexible mindset allows us to explore diverse perspectives and discover alternative solutions.

As my very first spiritual teacher aptly expressed, using “should” upon ourselves is akin to shi**ing on ourselves, diminishing our energetic vibration, and closing ourselves off from new possibilities. It is vital to release the constraints of “should” and embrace the expansive potential that awaits us… with love.

This conversation goes deeper on The Empowered Spirit Show with my guest Selina Maitreya and her new book, “Raise Your Frequency, Transform Your Life: How to Respond with Love to Life’s Difficulties”.