The one time I had to leave, she was gone. 

For five years, I had been my mother’s constant companion, her caregiver, her shadow. I had sat by her side, held her hand, and promised myself I would be there when she took her final breath. But the universe had a different plan. 

The one time I had to choose my own daughter’s needs over hers, was the moment my mother chose to transition. 

The news was a gut punch, and in the silence that followed, one question echoed relentlessly: Why did she wait until I was gone? That question was the beginning of a journey I never expected — a journey through the depths of grief and guilt, and into the profound discovery that the bonds of love are not broken by death, but merely transformed.

The Transformation of a Bond

In the raw, early stages of grief, it felt like a door had been slammed shut. The physical presence I had known and loved was gone, and the silence was deafening. Yet, as I moved through the deep waves of sorrow, something began to shift. 

I started to realize that our connection wasn’t severed; it had simply changed form. The relationship I had with my mother, once based on physical presence and spoken words, was evolving into something new — a bond rooted in spirit, energy, and intuition.

This transformation is a sacred, albeit challenging, part of the grieving process. It requires us to let go of the relationship as it was and open our hearts to what it can now become. 

It’s a shift from a relationship of doing to a relationship of being; from holding a hand to holding a memory, a feeling, a presence within our own heart. The love doesn’t disappear; it transmutes, becoming a guiding light that can feel just as real and twice as profound.

Learning the Language of Spirit

As I opened myself to this new form of connection, I began to notice my mother’s presence in the world around me. 

At first, I dismissed them as coincidences, but their persistence and personal nature became impossible to ignore. These weren’t just random occurrences; they were conversations. 

She shows up as a hummingbird flitting outside my window, a vibrant, energetic reminder of her spirit. 

She’s my “time angel,” playfully nudging me to be on time for appointments, a little inside joke between us that brings a smile to my face on a tough day.

Our loved ones on the other side use the language of signs and symbols to let us know they are still with us. This can manifest in countless ways: a significant song playing on the radio at the exact moment you’re thinking of them, finding a feather or a coin in an unexpected place, or smelling a familiar scent with no discernible source. 

They come to us in dreams, offering comfort and guidance, or simply as a feeling — a sudden wave of love or a sense of peace washing over us. The key is to pay attention, to trust our intuition, and to acknowledge these moments as the gifts they are.

Cultivating the Eternal Bond

Recognizing these signs is the first step; actively nurturing the bond is the next. This is not a passive process. Just like any relationship, our connection with those in spirit requires intention, presence, and love. So, what can we do to keep the relationship going?

One of the most powerful practices is simply to talk to them. Speak to them out loud or in your heart. Share your day, your joys, your struggles. Ask for their guidance. You may not hear a voice in return, but you might receive an answer in the form of a sign, an intuitive nudge, or a solution that suddenly pops into your head.

Creating a small altar or a sacred space in your home with their picture and a few of their favorite things can also serve as a physical anchor for your connection. It’s a way of saying, “You are still a part of my life, and I honor your presence.”

For me, my practice of Reiki has been an invaluable tool in this journey. Years before my mother’s passing, I had the amazing opportunity to be with my father and use Reiki as a guiding force in helping him to transition. It was a beautiful transition, at home in his own bed. 

That experience taught me so much about the power of Reiki to ease the process of death and to create a sacred space for both the living and the dying. It was a powerful reminder that we are all energetic beings, and that even in death, that energy continues. 

Now, I use Reiki to quiet my mind, raise my vibration, and become more receptive to the subtle energies and communications from my mother. It helps me to bridge the veil, not by force, but by creating a state of peaceful, loving resonance.

Ultimately, the most important thing we can do is to continue living our lives with love and joy. 

Our loved ones in spirit are not served by our perpetual sorrow. They want to see us thrive. By living fully, we honor their memory and keep their spirit alive within us. 

The love we shared doesn’t end; it becomes a part of our own energetic signature, a source of strength that we carry with us always.

This journey of recognizing the eternal bond I still share with my mother is why my latest podcast episode is so close to my heart. If you have ever felt the pain of loss and yearned to feel that connection again, I invite you to listen to my conversation with Dr. Janet Lynn Roseman, author of “The Eternal Bond: Daughters Honor Their Mothers on the Other Side.” We delve deep into this sacred connection, how to navigate grief, and how to recognize the signs our loved ones send us. You can find it here: The Empowered Spirit Show.

You don’t have to navigate this path alone.

May you always feel the love that surrounds you, both seen and unseen.

To your Spirit,

Terri